Crush 2.0

Ok hey guys I'm basically in love and I don't know what am I doing and yes with a total different person I know I'm not gonna get and I'll be seeing him till the very end I guess and I'm not sure of my mixed feelings .. Sometimes it's high sometimes it's not and I guess feelings come and go but I somehow can't get him of my mind and I'm here like I'm not even gonna try for him , I know I can't get him and it's okay but it would a dream come true because rn I really need some sort of miracle 😬my parents advice me to tell him but somehow they don't get my feelings , I'm not scared to tell him but I am scared of the consequences and I don't want to face it alone .. And I know he won't say yes 🤔 I don't wanna embarrass myself because I know this is AKWARD really it is and I'm not sure he would expect this shit from me , and sometimes I guess it's best left unspoken huh? But ayee my friend dreamt about id hanging on a beach , sharing a drink ., we were dating 😍that's what I am dealing with right now, confusion and I'm not sure , mixed feelings I guess , all i know iz I'm never having him so why try ? 👈🏽